Give me Novacaine
Bitter sweet migrane. Give me Novocaine.
There are demons to deal.
"D, do you know your priorities?" a friend asked during lunch yesterday.
"Yes. First, God. Second, Family. Third, Friends?"
"No. Wrong!" He said.
Persecuted.
"First God, Second Husband. Third Kids, Fourth, Parents.......Ministry fifth or sixth..." He explained.
I figure I rank really low in priorities in other people's life, somewhere down the list scrapping the ground. I wonder what that means to friendship. I would start at No. 3 or 4 and later retreat to 6 or 7. So I shouldn't blame friends who suddenly have no time for you, even for lunch, once they are hitched, because it is accordance to godly priorities. That really made me feel lousy. So are friends just some kind of a pastime until the right person comes along? Should I retreat to my seclusion just listening to my ipod and care less about going out for fellowship because it is all a waste of time, you are not contributing a future. At some point, you would be cut off.
According that list of priorities, it sucks to be single then. The marrieds have God and they have someone who will place them as 2nd priorities, bumping their friends out. Unfair, so it sounds. Should I distance myself from friends who want to get married eventually. Why waste my time developing those friendships which one day will fade. There is no point, isn't it?
I want to be single, but I don't want to be scrapping the ground in someone else's list, like you are worth so little.
Should I cut off all ties? No man can be an island? Say who? Haven't you read About A Boy?
So you can say God is sufficient for thee. If He is sufficient, why the need for friends?
I know there is something wrong with this logical deduction because I know He didn't set out to sabotage the singles, but I don't know what it is. I know He didn't set out for me to be an Island. I know He didn't set out for me to cut people off. He didn't set out for me to stay in my room to read and listen to my ipod. It can't be right. But I can't see it now. I have a small mind and now there is a throbbing toothache in my mind. So, give me novacaine. Quell the swelling. It is breaking me.
There are demons to deal.
"D, do you know your priorities?" a friend asked during lunch yesterday.
"Yes. First, God. Second, Family. Third, Friends?"
"No. Wrong!" He said.
Persecuted.
"First God, Second Husband. Third Kids, Fourth, Parents.......Ministry fifth or sixth..." He explained.
I figure I rank really low in priorities in other people's life, somewhere down the list scrapping the ground. I wonder what that means to friendship. I would start at No. 3 or 4 and later retreat to 6 or 7. So I shouldn't blame friends who suddenly have no time for you, even for lunch, once they are hitched, because it is accordance to godly priorities. That really made me feel lousy. So are friends just some kind of a pastime until the right person comes along? Should I retreat to my seclusion just listening to my ipod and care less about going out for fellowship because it is all a waste of time, you are not contributing a future. At some point, you would be cut off.
According that list of priorities, it sucks to be single then. The marrieds have God and they have someone who will place them as 2nd priorities, bumping their friends out. Unfair, so it sounds. Should I distance myself from friends who want to get married eventually. Why waste my time developing those friendships which one day will fade. There is no point, isn't it?
I want to be single, but I don't want to be scrapping the ground in someone else's list, like you are worth so little.
Should I cut off all ties? No man can be an island? Say who? Haven't you read About A Boy?
So you can say God is sufficient for thee. If He is sufficient, why the need for friends?
I know there is something wrong with this logical deduction because I know He didn't set out to sabotage the singles, but I don't know what it is. I know He didn't set out for me to be an Island. I know He didn't set out for me to cut people off. He didn't set out for me to stay in my room to read and listen to my ipod. It can't be right. But I can't see it now. I have a small mind and now there is a throbbing toothache in my mind. So, give me novacaine. Quell the swelling. It is breaking me.
posted by eternal bough at 11:49 PM
6 Comments:
I think your friend is wrong. There's no such thing as God being 1st, then friends or family or husband etc. going down the list.
God should be the only priority. Everything else is determined by that.
Silly example, but if you could possibly save someone's soul but had to sacrifice perhaps a week with your family, then for some people, that would translate to God being the priority.
And that's the reason why some people choose to go for missions despite family's disapproval. It doesn't mean stranger was above family in a list of priority. In fact for them, they probably pray for their family more than anything else. It was God being the only priority that determined their choice.
that makes sense. At least that makes me feel better. yeah!
agree that God is the only priority.
i dont fully agree with the mission eg tho. depends on what you define as 'going for missions'. putting God first wld mean doing His will ie being responsible to love & be there for your family if you are a husband/dad, wife/mom. if missions wld take you away from your family for an extended period, it might not be wise to do so.
having said that, being married doesnt mean you cant serve others/singles in the Body tho undoubtedly less time for them.
still the reality/downside of remaining single IS the 'instability' of friendships. as friends get married, we will inevitably lose time with them. my assurance is in fact that God will provide as He has always done. provide new, different friendships to fill my life & encourage me. none are identical, replaceable but all part of His provision for me :)
love for each other also shdnt be conditional ie build friendships only if they will never leave us.
hope that wasnt too much of a bummer EB ;)
The best kind of friendship investments are the ones where you put in more than you receive. We don't operate on capital markets or balanced scorecard business planning rules, we are on God's rules.
NP
that is coming from a person who is the hedge fund business? ok ok. I have a sneaky feeling that you are my disciplinary master sent by Him. ok, ok, from now on, will only give and not receive (or receive a little bit)
Judging from the comments so far, I might be out of line when I say I agree with your friend - but only to some extent.
I agree with rust and pw about God being the priority. Or rather, OBEYING God being the priority. Which then translates to this - your spouse should be a higher priority than your friends. The only "order" about caring for someone as yourself is with regard to spouse! And of course as we all know, honouring your parents comes with a reward - meaning it's difficult, but even more so should be done.
But translated into reality, placing these priorities is a bit different from simply looking at them as priorities. What do you define as "more important"? For example if your mother sprained her ankle and your friends invite you out to booze, what would your response be? Or conversely, if your friend called you up in a strained voice saying that he/she twisted an ankle, and your mother is asking why you aren't home for dinner?
Now, replace your friend with your colleague. Whom you dislike. Who has an issue with you over some affair last week where the boss praised you instead of him/her. And now has a sprained ankle, alone in the office, bravely holding back the tears, too proud to ask.
This issue of priorities - in my opinion - always lacks one thing - the situation, and not just some overall priority. The actual situation defines the priority. And above all with the mastering principle of loving and obeying God, what you then choose should reflect this. But "simple" choices such as going for mission work against your spouse's express wishes - now is that godly or not so godly? And of course, when your spouse wants you back for dinner and yet you have a same-sex friend who really needs you, what would be the more godly choice?
I would explain things to my (admittedly) understanding spouse, and go ahead and join my friend. As I believe that would be more godly. Now do I hold my friend as more important? Or my spouse?
And of course, God forbid that your mum and your spouse sprain their ankles at the same time on opposite sides of the island.
My 2c.
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