What's a little honesty among friends?

I have been thinking about honesty among friends. I have been thinking about how honest one should be to each other. I saw how my honesty has affected N and he is still suffering from it. While he is trying to internalise what I had said about him as a fair comment, he can't help feeling frustrated that he has to deal with my judgement.The other day, J wanted to be honest and let out all that was bothering her. I was upset. I was upset by her wanting of being free to express how she felt because her honesty made me uncomfortable.A week ago, when J was sharing with me her problems, I too made a remark that was completely thoughtless because I felt I had the right to be honest.Sometimes, being honest is a thoughtless behaviour and selfish even.We think we are entitled to be wilful in front of our friends, to let out what is bothering us or what we are thinking instead of dealing with it ourselves first. Because they are our friends, we think we can say what we want and we can express what we think at anytime and anywhere. We are lacking even the precaution and the sensitivities when we speak to our acquaintances, the not-so-close friends. We spend less time evaluating the impact of what we are going to say and whether it will add value to our lives or to our friendship. We spent less time putting ourselves in our friends' shoes. We think we know each other too well and we can be comfortable saying what we are thinking.As friendships deepen, are we entitled to be thoughtless with our honesty?