Long vacation

I have been taking a vacation, I told a banker I met for lunch the other day. I feel like I have been serving beers at a beach pub and engaging in mindless chatting. For two years, I have been stress-free, doing something that requires only 10% of my intellectual capacity or even less. I have been on a holiday.

The banker raised his eyebrows and then nodded his head.

"You better get out before you are decomposed," he said. "You are rotting away and having too much fun."

However, it was a necessary vacation. I was on a fast track and left too many things broken. I needed a major repair. Where things cannot be repaired, I learn to accept and draw some lessons. Now, I am edging to move to another place. I am ready to leave the beach pub. With a little sadness and to the dismay of my lazy bones, I announce to myself, the vacation will be over soon.I got to reconnect with the world and multiply. I got to come out of my non-commital state. I will commit to a cause that will bring me to a place where I want to be in 20 years. I will commit to a person.

Morning coffee

I was up earlier than usual. I wanted to get some breakfast and a cup of double espresso from Spinelli before work. I also wanted to read. I haven't spent much time reading lately. As I was digging into my sticky bun with my fork, my eyes darted to a couple sitting at a table diagonally across from mine. They were holding each other's arms and looking at each other with intense sadness. The guy seemed to be in some kind of a difficult situation and the girl, his girlfriend obviously or I assumed, was offering him comfort. She seemed disturbed maybe because she realised what she could offer to him at that moment was only comfort but not solution.

I drifted to memories of my past - of me and Kea. Among those, I couldn't find anything quite close to this. I was never that sort of a girlfriend to Kea. He had never given me the opportunity as a girlfriend to offer that sort of a solace to him. It was mostly me with that despondent and lost look on my face and him sitting across me holding my arms and uplifting my spirit, giving me strength to come out of my situation. He was mostly the strong one. I was mostly the one who thought my world was going to crash.

The Kea from those memories was like a huge oak tree, always tall and undefeated. His branches spread out and were growing skyward. His future was unblocked. I always knew that he would flourish. He spread his best branches to cover me. He was afraid that my delicate self won't be able to withstand any battering from the sun or the rain. Even when the sunlight was warm and tender, he still held his branches over me, forming a canopy that offer me shade. He didn't want to take any chances. Under that shade, I soon became a plant that no longer flower and with dried tangled stems that once held some lush green leaves. I was withering under that shade.

Till this day, I wonder sometimes whether he knew the reasons why I ran away.

The girl stood up and bent over to plant a kiss on his forehead. This prompted him to give way and give in more to his griefing. He moved forward and laid his chin on the table. The girl continued to hold his arms.Then it was 8:30am. I finished that last sip of the espresso and went to catch my morning bus to work, leaving that couple behind.