Milk bottles and maid
I went milk-bottle shopping with K today. K generously educated me on the different rubber tips they used on milk bottles. I tried to look interested but my mind had already wandered somewhere else. K mentioned something about buying tips with smaller openings so that the babies won't get too much air in their systems from drinking from the bottles. My mind wandered off even further.
".....if not.....the baby will burp for four hours straight and that is when you wish you have a maid."
"..orrhhhh..." I said, while deep in other thoughts.
Should I ask him out? Maybe I should. But how? Aiya, don't want to ask him out. Ok la, ask him. Send an SMS or call? What if he is ....
"Remember to tell your boyfriend to get you a maid if he wants to marry you," K said. "My wife asked me to when she was about to marry me."
This K is such a good husband /father. I wonder whether my husband, whoever that is, would go milk bottle shopping with me and do research on milk bottle rubber tips.
"Huh? Well, it would have to depend on who I am marrying. Why if I am going to marry someone really poor, how am I going to ask him to get me a maid?"
"errr......but you can afford. You pay."
"Huh? I pay?" I said and wondered why most people assumed that reporters are well-paid.
Well, at least now I know. A maid and milk bottles with rubber tips that have small openings are essential to keep a wife (which is me in the future) from going beserk and to keep a marriage going.
So this is my new boyfriend qualifying test:-
Me: When buying a milk bottle, do you buy one with a rubber tip that has a small opening or big one?
Prospect (sitting in a booth, looking utterly confused and thinking big is always better - the baby can drink faster) : Errr....Big one?
De-AIRRRRRR...... Wrong answer! (Red lights flashing in the background!)
Me: Are you going to get me a maid if we marry?
Prospect (remembering all the horror stories of maids killing their employers and marinating employers' babies in kitchen sinks) : NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
De-AIRRRRRR.....Wrong answer! (Red lights flashing in the background)
Wow. That is easy. What a fool-proof test!
".....if not.....the baby will burp for four hours straight and that is when you wish you have a maid."
"..orrhhhh..." I said, while deep in other thoughts.
Should I ask him out? Maybe I should. But how? Aiya, don't want to ask him out. Ok la, ask him. Send an SMS or call? What if he is ....
"Remember to tell your boyfriend to get you a maid if he wants to marry you," K said. "My wife asked me to when she was about to marry me."
This K is such a good husband /father. I wonder whether my husband, whoever that is, would go milk bottle shopping with me and do research on milk bottle rubber tips.
"Huh? Well, it would have to depend on who I am marrying. Why if I am going to marry someone really poor, how am I going to ask him to get me a maid?"
"errr......but you can afford. You pay."
"Huh? I pay?" I said and wondered why most people assumed that reporters are well-paid.
Well, at least now I know. A maid and milk bottles with rubber tips that have small openings are essential to keep a wife (which is me in the future) from going beserk and to keep a marriage going.
So this is my new boyfriend qualifying test:-
Me: When buying a milk bottle, do you buy one with a rubber tip that has a small opening or big one?
Prospect (sitting in a booth, looking utterly confused and thinking big is always better - the baby can drink faster) : Errr....Big one?
De-AIRRRRRR...... Wrong answer! (Red lights flashing in the background!)
Me: Are you going to get me a maid if we marry?
Prospect (remembering all the horror stories of maids killing their employers and marinating employers' babies in kitchen sinks) : NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
De-AIRRRRRR.....Wrong answer! (Red lights flashing in the background)
Wow. That is easy. What a fool-proof test!
posted by eternal bough at 11:25 PM
2 Comments:
tsk tsk, to think i devoted so much of my time to explain about the baby products to you... makes me wonder if you listened to me, at all
... Draws Deep Breath...
Firstly, its "teats", not "tips" (Tis forgiveable though, since teats and tips are phonetically similar)
Secondly, the baby does not "burp" for 4 hours (where to find all that air?) ... he or she will cry (wrong, WAIL) for 4 hours if he or she has colic
Thirdly, my lovely wife did not ask me for a maid before we got married. She "asked" me for one AFTER we got married. Smart woman.
Sigh.
But in any case, thanks for the sweet compliment.
Uncle K
Dear Uncle K,
Thanks for the word 'teat'. I was wrecking my brain trying to find the word for that rubbery thing on that milk bottle and couldn't think of one. Ya, now I know, teats. Aiya, no need to learn all about baby products given my single status now.
Thanks for the clarification. I thought I heard "burping" and was wondering what kind of a baby does Uncle K has. I hope my baby doesn't do that. Again, given my single status and worse, no guys in sight that I like, there is no need to worry about that either.
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