Leave immediately

I was asked to leave immediately when I tendered my resignation.

I panicked. I had to delete my emails. There were some personal ones there.

Oh no!

I quickly packed my bag and said my hurried goodbyes to everyone.

"You kept it so quiet," one of them said.

Not exactly. I just quit 2 hours ago.

"Is there a place that is better than here?" He asked. "Where are you going?"

"XXX"

He kept quiet.

G (one of the chiefs) called me into the room and asked me to call him after two years. There will be something for me on his team.

I plan to stay there (new place) forever actually. But who knows. Thanks G.

My company director called me to apologise for having to ask me to leave immediately. It is the company's policy for employees to leave immediately if he/she is joining the competitor. He did not for once ask me why I was leaving as if he knew already why. He knew that the current position was undermining my talents and my immediate supervisor was struggling to keep me on his team. I could sense it in his voice that he was already expecting this. He was gentle. He told me he was happy for me and I will do well at my new place.

A banker called when he heard the news and he said, "Ya, silly woman. I told you to leave right from the beginning. I told you you are good and you deserve much better. Doesn't matter what you choose, you will do well."

"I wanted to leave but I couldn't find a job." I explained.

"You can find anything you want. You did not look." He reprimanded. He had been reprimanding me for last two years.

To be honest, I did look for a job. I just couldn't find anything. Everything time a job came close to being offered, it fell through.

A flood of well wishes came in when the news broke.

"Ya. waste time doing what you are doing. waste your talents." another banker called to say.

"What? Why?" I said and frowned.

I know why. I was put there for two years to learn meekness and humility, to learn that you can't always get what you want.

However, I did enjoyed my last one year. It was a job that require 10% of my intellectual capacity which leave me with a lot of capacity to do different things - surf the net, read, meet NP for pratas and for lunch and to talk rubbish, irritate NP, read lots of annual reports and trade stocks, made some and went out to spend those, attend cooking classes, have tennis lessons, .....

I started a blog because I was bored too. I started writing short stories because I was bored.

I did so much outside of work. My after-work activities became my full-time job. All that is going to change in a month's time.

Everything that had happened were all timed properly. When I looked back and reflected, I realised I was really in God's hands. He had been in control and I know He will continue to be in control. Tommorrow, my first copy of IHT, which I subscribed last week, will arrive as if someone knows by tommorrow, I won't have papers to read. I won't have access to the company's subscribed papers. Everything is in order, right to the smallest details - whether D will have papers to read or not from tommorrow onwards.

It is totally divine.

I have no friends

"hallo, are you free on Sunday evening?"

I was thinking of going to a band competition at Esplanade on Sunday. So I didn't know how to answer that question.

"Oh. Yes but I am thinking of going to a band competition on Sunday."

"Which one?"

"The one at Esplanade."

"Oh, I was going to ask you to go."

"Ok. Great. Let's go then."

"Who are you going with?"

"Err....Alone." I had pictured myself this morning holding my drink (definitely alcoholic) and watching the bands alone.

"Alone?"

Yes. What's wrong?

"Yes."

E asked me other day. "Did you go out?" E was concerned I was spending too much time teaching LQ that I wouldn't have time to go out. I had joked about not be able to date because I had to give LQ tuition and that LQ was responsible for my singlehood.

"Yes I did."

"What did you do?"

"I watched a movie."

"Oh, with who?"

"Alone."

E searched my face for an explanation.

I didn't have one. But I had to come up with one. It seemed like a right social thing to do to explain your weird behaviour away.

On the dating front, news flash today:

"I am going to be in Tokyo for a week next week. You want to come with me?"

"Sure." It was just a speech of convenience.

"You sure?! You would come with me?."

"Sure."

"You should say sure only if you are sure." I sat up and realised he was serious.

"I am sure. I am sure that I don't want to go."

"Ok, let's have a drink once I am back."

"Sure."

"Sure?"

"Sure."

"Monday?"

"Oh, I got bible class on Monday."

He laughed. "Can you come up with a better excuse?"

It was not an excuse. I really got bible class on every Mondays.


Maybe life among Christians is better....

"No one knows you at church." A fellow churchmate said one day.

"Isn't that great!"

"No, it isn't. No one knows you because you are unfriendly."

Am I? But my muscles have been aching for years and I can't smile. I always got stuff stuck in between my teeth.

"Am I unfriendly?"

"No, but you told me you are."

"?????"

"Usually when I mention your name, people wouldn't know, they would ask WHO?"

"Isn't that great!"

"No, it is not great!"

"It is great." I insisted.

Maybe I should say it three times. He would be convinced.

It is great. It is great. It is great.

Am I a freak?


P/S:
Can I ask whoever is reading my blog a favour? Take your pick. Which of the following should I choose for my band (a fictious one)?

(A) Freaks (latest inspirations from this blog)
(B) Stained Spirits
(C) Desperate Icons
(D) Others...name please?

I got it

I took a cab home so that I can be at home by 7pm for a tele-interview. I was briefed a few times to call earlier because "the interviewer" hates people who are late.

I got home, changed into my track pants and my tanktop, find a nice spot on my bed and sat down. Then I dialed the number.

"Can you connect me to XXX?"

"Sorry what is his last name?"

"XXX" I said, wondering why she doesn't know the second-in-command.

"Oh, let me connect you."

"Ok, good morning."

"Why should we hire you?"

I bragged.

"Are there any reasons why you would hestitate to join XXX?"

"No hestitation."

"Are there any REASONS why you would hestitate to join XXX?"

"No reasons."

Yes, but I am starting to have one. This is all too strange for me.

"Do you want to join XXX?"

"Yes."

What's this?

"Ok, then you got it."

I am very confused now. Is this a job offer or what?

"Should I expect someone else to call me then?"

"Yes," he laughed.

Why is he laughing?

"Yes, you can expect a few to call you."

Click! He put down the phone.

I sat there on the nice spot on my bed, stunned. So I got the job.

What should I do now? Tell someone or what? Who is at home now? My dad.

My father was taking his shower. I stood there in his bedroom outside the bathroom, wondering whether I should shout?

So I shouted, "Papa!"

No answer.

I went back to my room. That was it? After nine months, one writing test and a series of interviews. I counted. There are eight interviews in total - three face to face ones, three telephone interviews, two video-interviews. I actually survived. Praise God!

I started to recall all the job interviews I had. My first job - I was hired on the spot after a short interview. My second job - three interviews over two weeks. My third job - I was hired in the evening after an interview in the morning, a writing test in the afternoon - all in a day.

This the longest, one that I prayed the most about.

The toughest interview was one where I had to do a presentation. I was grilled throughout that one hour of presentation. The funny thing was that the two interviewers were copying notes on my presentation. Then I went back and an email came in the afternoon on the day asking me to come in the next day for the third interview. That was fast. I made up excuses and went down a week later and told them during the interview that was not for me. The real reason: I hated the two interviewers, they were poorly dressed and had no interpersonal skills (they should listen to my presentation and not copy all the time...so rude...sigh...civil servants...sigh!)

As I lay on my bed recalling the interviews that I had in the past, I heard my dad walked by. I opened the door and called out to him.

"Papa....I got a new job."

"Hey, I asked. The computer you want is very expensive. Pentium 4 chip is already more than 300 dollars. So expensive."

"Papa. I got a new job."

"I show you. My friend listed for me the prices of all the parts. I also took some brochures from other shops for you to compare." He walked to the study and brought me some quotations.

"See. you see this one. cheapest 300 odd. This one is more than 500 just for the chip and motherboard."

"Ok. Papa."

"What?"

"I got a new job."

"Huh? You don't want your old job? What's wrong with your old job?"

"Nothing's wrong with my current one."

"Then? Is the new one better?"

"I don't know. I think so."

"Then ok lar, you think it is better, then it is ok. Do what?"

"Same thing. write rubbish."

"Which company?"

"XXX."

"ya ya. I heard you mention it before." Then he walked to the living room, sat down and switched on the TV. He wasn't excited at all.

Why? There's more money. I can give you more money. Maybe, we can all move out of this place and you don't have to walk up the stairs. This new job will have a compensation package that would not match my last job's before my career switch but would recover a big chunk of it. I can be prudent with my spending and save more, get us another apartment. You can't walk the stairs. Mom can't walk the stairs. I can get a car and I can bring you to anywhere you want. I can find out all the nice eateries in Singapore and bring you there. I can spend Sat afternoons with you drinking teh tariks at coffee shops which we couldn't go to because we don't have a car. Wait till I am done with LQ. Wait till I start at the new place. Wait till I buy a car. Wait till I pass the driving test. Wait till I reorganise my schedule. Wait till I am done with some of my current commitments. Wait. Just wait. Wait for me to do all these. My plans are working out. Please wait.

I followed him and stood there by the TV.

He was sitting on his favourite easy chair.

"Is it in Hong Kong?"

"No it is not."

"Ok, that is good. All your friends are here and your parents are old."

Yes. I know.

So that was on his mind when I told him about the offer. Then I told him that I wanted to buy him and my mom dinner. Then his face brightened.

"Ok" He said happily.

"What would you like to eat?"

"Ask mommy."

"But you can tell me. I will ask mom too. What would you like to eat?"

"Prawn fritters."

"Huh? can you choose something more expensivet?"

He didn't hear me. His hearing is getting worse. He can only catch half of what I say usually.

I looked at him and his thin frame. He didn't used to be that thin. Age had caught up with him. I wondered how many more years I still have with him. I wondered when the Lord is going to take away from me. And he better be saved by then. I also wondered what else I can do for him to make his life better in his last years. Oh yes, his salvation. What else?

So I said, "LC told me that you are still not willing to commit to the Lord, you only like the intellectual stimulation that the sermons and bible discussions are providing you."

Then my father started to expound the evolution theory, buddhism, and a host of other theories, all of which I don't understand and know very little about.

I listened intently. After 15 mins, I wasn't sure where he was going and I was going to be late. I had to leave the house. I apologised to him and promised to listen to him another time.

I rushed out and in the cab, I went through in my mind a conversation I had with LC.

"What is your father's background? I have never seen someone his age who likes intellectual discussion so much. Your father's a teacher?" LC asked.

"No, he is not."

"He just like to read a lot?"

"Yes, he loves reading. He is always reading something. He buys books very often. No, his job doesn't require him to read."

LC looked puzzled as if the link that he was holding in his hand slipped. He searched my face for the missing link.

I noticed but hestitated to tell him more about my dad.

When I was seven, I asked my father for his stories.

I recalled him saying, 'Wait until you are older then you would understand better. All these political complexities are not for you now."

"Don't want. Tell me now. Now!" I had said.

LC was still frowning away. I noticed.

I softened and offered him a glean.

"He was once a XXX, sort of. You can call him that."

I only offered bits of my father's stories, hoping that would suffice, hoping that those bits could help LC find a hook to help him share the gospel with my father.

I began to understand bits of my own life choices relating those bits of my father's stories to LC.

"XY (my chinese name), you have to do something for your society. Do not be inward looking. Do something that can make an impact, make a difference, make your life worthwhile. You only live once. At least leave a legacy." I was only less than 10 and I had heard him say that several times.

After I became 10, he stopped.

Maybe he knew that I was going to turn out to be someone mediocre, someone who could only love rock music because classical music was beyond her unsophiscated taste, someone who struggled to keep her head above waters most of the time through her student years, through her life because she had very few inner resources, someone whose series of boyfriends who were mediocre people leading mediocre lives who hardly fascinated him and he hardly spoke to them, someone who gets excited because she got a new job offer which is nothing really, nothing that can help her change the world or to make an impact, just another job which is bringing in food for the stomach and keeping her out of mischief.

He had never made me feel bad that I had turned out to be this mediocre or showed me that he's disappointed in me. In fact, I think he's not disappointed. He knows me and my limitations. He accepts.

"Is that all that you want?"

"Prawn fritters. I love prawn fritters."

Ok. You'll get prawn fritters.

Splashes of chicago

I went to do my pedi and mani today. OPI's latest range is called the Chicago Collection. How can I resist? Anything with a Chicago theme is special. I watch any movie that is set in Chicago. My best friend's wedding is my favourite with that boat ride against that familiar skyline.

So here's the Chicago Collection:

Skinny Dip’n in Lake Michg’n	ChicaGo Get a Manicure!	Windy City Pretty
This shimmery nude will give you goose bumps.	And be sure to ask for this deep mauve.	A blushing pink as “chic” as the city it’s named for!

The Grape Lakes (SP)	My Kind of Brown (SP)	That’s an “EL”of a Color!
A gleaming amethyst that makes a splash.	And yours, too! A rich shade of brown-red.	You’ll want to choo-choose this warm brick red.

Lincoln Park After Dark	Got the Blues for Red	Marooned on the Magnificent Mile (SP)
Where midnight meets purple.	A melodious blue-red that hits all the right notes.	An equally magnificent shade of claret.

All that Razz-berry	O’Hare & Nails Look Great!	Mrs. O’Leary’s BBQ
A jazzy raspberry shade.	A true red that’s cleared for takeoff!	A deliciously saucy shade of molasses.

I looked at the colours and the names and I smiled. They evoked pleasant memories and a sense of familiarity. Yes, that EL, that O'Leary BBQ, that Lincoln Park, that band that play jazz, shopping on the Magnificent Mile, that gorgeous Lake Michigan - my windy city.

"I want to do french today. Black base and white tip. I want Lincoln Park After Dark as my base." I said.

There was a long silence.

The two ladies attending to me looked at me. The two ladies attending to the lady on my right looked at me. The two ladies attending to the lady on my left AND the lady on my left looked at me.

"What's wrong?" I looked at them back, making sure I gave equal attention to each one.

Then one of the ladies attending to the lady on my right (OOTLATTLOMR) spoke, "Not nice. My colleague tried before, not nice, very dirty."

The lady doing my finger nails said, "Aiya. you should have said earlier. Then I won't cut so short."

"It's ok. I like it really short."

No one gave me an approving smile. It was quite a discouraging moment. I felt I had failed the roomful of nail specialists.

"Why not? I like!" I said/asked. "You are making it sound like a terrible idea."

Then the lady doing my toenails said, "Nevermind. Try lah!"

She made it sound like I was going to embark on a scientific experiment that might turn me into a freak.

The OOTLATTLOMR gave my nails a mournful look and went back to her customer, lowering her head.

Oiii...what's this?

"It is very chanel." I tried to convince the room.

No one said a word. Everyone went back to work. The two customers went back to their magazines and I passed out on my chair, trying to catch some sleep. That was a taxing moment.

My nails turn out well. I love my nails. Lincoln Park After Dark looks good. Though I would go for something that is more black, the real black. Very Cute, though I look more rock-chic than chanel-sosphiscate. Put on my smokey eye shadows and I am good to go. Rock on!

Never been kissed

"That thing, that moment, when everything around you becomes hazy....... and the only thing in focus is you and this person......... and you realize that that person is the only person you should be kissing for the rest of your life......... and for one moment you get this amazing gift.......... and you wanna laugh and you wanna cry cuz you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it's all gonna go away all at the same time."

From Never Been Kissed, a movie I watched a while back, I didn't remember there was this line or who said it. I faintly remember it was the school teacher, but I am not quite sure. Of the many things I remember about how it was like falling in love, I couldn't remember this - that thing, that moment. I found it while searching for something. The line was there, waiting there, so that I would remember.

And one day, I will have that moment. Then I will never forget.

I said "I do"

It happened today. I said "I do."

I am married now. Below is the story of how I fell.

I went to a job interview earlier today. It was my fifth and it has taken me nine months to reach this far.

“You are not interviewing for the CEO position are you?” My DG leader asked. I have been asking the DG to pray for my career for the last one year.

This is the strangest and the longest job process I have ever been through.

It was 7:30pm and 7:30am in NY. I was waiting for the interviewer in a conference with another staff accompanying me. He was in a meeting.

7:30am? The interviewer’s having a meeting?! Oh no??? I am going to have a tough time ahead if I am employed.

“So what time do you normally reach here?” I asked the guy who interviewed me in August.

“7:30 in the morning,” He answered.

And I said, “…….”

I took my Soya bean and drank half of it.

“Oh, that is great!” I said. I looked away and looked everywhere else in the room.

Then I got bored.

“Is he going to ask me what are the five Fs of journalism?” I asked cheekily.

It was a joke, but he didn’t think it was.

“Yes. You must know the five Fs. You must tell him you have to be the first, fast….”

Walau. Relac lei. Joking only. I thought angmos very relac one.

“I’m joking,” I said to stop him. I didn’t want to listen to the five Fs of journalism. Yawn!

“You will be fine. You’ll do well. You have proceeded very quickly. You are already meeting XXXX since the last time I interviewed you.”

“Nine months? Fast?” I asked in disbelief. These people are mad.

Then finally, after half an hour of delay, the interviewer finally finished his interview and walked into the room. I couldn’t see him clearly on TV but he looked like he could strangle me with his bare hands. He is that big.

He sat down and quickly shot me his first question.

“Why should we hire you?”

Walau. You must ask me about the weather first. You know social protocols or not? Then you must ask me about my parents. Then you must ask me what music I listen to, what movies I like. What is this?

If someone ask you a question like that, what should you do? Tip: you brag!

So I bragged loudly and clearly. I stressed on some of the key words that highlighted how smart I am, how competent I am, how significant my achievements are. It was one of those few moments when you actually believed in what you bragged about. It was one of those few moments that it was alright to be vain and I didn't feel guilty. It would earn me my source of food.

I approached the rest of his questions the same way – just brag.

So I sailed through the interview just by bragging. How cool was that?!

Finally, he said.

“Just need to ask you a few housekeeping questions. I need to ask you this before we proceed to the last interview.”

I thought they would be questions like “when you can start work with us if we hire you?”

“You know that if he (the last interviewer) offers you a job and you said no, you will never ever able to work this company. I need you to understand this. I need to know you really want to work for us before we proceed. You know you are getting this package and this bonus. So if he offers you this job with this package (XXXX), would you say Yes?”

He looked up from his paper he was reading from and stared at me.

“Yes, I do.” I said and I went quiet. I fell.

I was under pressure. His stare was not exactly one that belonged to a care bear. I know now how people can be forced into marriage. Before, I thought it was an absurd idea.

I felt so abused. I felt so used.

Next time when I see Mr. GWMMHF, I would read from a piece of paper and stared at him through a TV. I think it must be the TV.

“I know you will say that. Good!”

My first “yes I do.” Now it is gone. Booohoooooooooooo!!!!!

I thought the only time I would say “Yes, I do” is at the altar to the priest who is marrying me to an unsuspecting male victim. I didn’t know I would be married to a company?!

Sigh. Life is a series of compromises.

Listening to Six by Mansun

And you see, I kind of shivered to conformity
Did you see the way I cowered to authority
You see, my life, it's a series of compromises anyway
It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see
(More) than I had before
(More) than I've presently got
(More) than I'll ever use up
(More) than I really need
(More) than I had before
(More) than I could possibly spend
(More) than I'll ever use up
(More) than I really need
It's more than I can spare

The tragic romance of it all

I went home today as soon as I got off work. I skipped gym. I wanted to curl up in my bed, put on some music and read my book. I've been listening to Radiohead and Nirvana, switching between the two for the last two days. I listened to Radiohead when I needed some good vocals and switched to Nirvana when I needed some good guitar riffs.

I reached home and to my pleasant surprise, I discovered the CDs that I ordered from djgangos have arrived. (that kind soul who told me about the website still hasn't tell me who he/she is. I am still waiting.)

So I ran to my room, took the whole bottle of Florida's Natural juice from the fridge and put Pulp's His and Hers on my player. Jarvis Cocker's voice began to fill the room. How I miss this CD. Each song tells a story of a tragic love. Seriously tragic. Let me show you.

From "Lipgloss"
"And you feel such a fool,
for laughing at bad jokes,
and putting up with all of his friends,
and kissing in public.
What are they gonna say when they run into you again?
That your stomach looks bigger and your hair is a mess,
and your eyes are just holes in your face."

From "Have you seen her lately?"
"First you let him in your bed.
Now he's moved inside your head.
And he directs all the dreams you are dreaming.
I saw a friend of yours today,
she called me over just to say,
"I dunno if you've seen her lately but God she's looking rough".

Strangely I like the LP because the songs are real. How else can Love be, in this imperfect world between two imperfect people. Of course, we are going to make a mess of it.

Pastor Chris last Sunday spoke of a married couple who were shocked to discover that Satan really was their real enemy and not each other. After all those years of being at each other's throats, it was a shock to them to realise that. Pastor Chris said the couple broke down and cried. I burst out laughing in the overflow room. I laughed at the absurdity of it all, at the tragedy of it all, at how people reached such pitiful epiphany after nearly destroying themselves and each other trying to love. I am sure some of us have been through that and I am sure I will go through another one of those relationships where I'd love to destroy and destroy to love. The guy sitting beside me was little frightened when he heard me laugh. I scared him. He inched towards the edge of his seat, trying to stay away from me. I watched him from the corner of my eyes. I smiled a little apologetically and looked down.

Then I saw his feet. I saw his toe-nails - they were dark and I think they were turning mouldy. Serious! The fungus had eaten half his big toe nails. Serious! I was torn. Should I tell him that he has nice nails just to be loving because he is not my enemy, Satan is, or give him the phone number of my pedicurist?

I decided to just run and not do what Pastor Chris had asked us to do - stay back and talk.

So I ran and after dashing down two flights of stairs, I put on my headphones and let Thom Yoke sing to me: "I am a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here."

Sorry I have scared you, whoever you are. But your toe nails quite chia lat lei.

Hard to convince

A senior asked to join me for lunch when he spotted me sitting alone, with my head down scribbing notes. I was preparing answers for my DG's bible study. That senior heads up a bureau of 6-7 journalists. He just returned from his vacation where he stayed in a villa in Belgium, his hometown. That morning when he returned to work from his vacation, I passed him a book by CS Lewis - Mere Christianity, which I said I would give him before he went on his vacation.

"You are reading the bible? Ha ha ha." He said while pulling a chair.

"Yes." I smiled.

"So you want to convert me, huh?" He asked, smiling.

"Ya, only if you want to be?"

"Ha ha ha, I want to convert you to a heathen." He said.

"Oh, don't bother. There are enough forces in this world to do that already." I said.

"Why aren't you reading the newspapers?" he asked.

Because it is lunch hour and I am going to have my dg tonight. I haven't finished my preparation.

"Errr....I have read it in the morning. It is too late to read it now."

Why am I feeling guilty?

Then I quickly veered the conversation to somewhere else to rock music. His son participated in the recent School of Rock competition but lost.

"So you played any instruments?" He asked.

"Ya, piano."

"Classical?"

"Yes."

"You play chords?"

"Yes. chords. Well, it's been a long though. I also play drums also, or trying to." I changed the subject. I didn't want to talk about piano because I didn't want to have to confess that I can't play it decently even though I have learnt it for more than a decade.

"Really?" He looked at me in disbelief. "You have a drum set at home?" The change of subject to drums didn't work either. I could feel it.

"No drum set. But I have drum sticks."

"Hahahahhahahhaha...." He laughed. "You don't play drums. You only have drum sticks. Drum sticks? hahahahhahha"

What's so funny? I am feeling persecuted.

"Well, I have two pairs of drumsticks!" And I put up my two fingers. "Two pairs. Not just one" I said and winked.

Yes, two pairs. That would convince him. huh!!

But it didn't work.

He laughed even louder. "Hahahahhahah.....Ho HO HO Ho HO Ho HO."

He couldn't stopped.

"I also have a drumming practice pad! Made from fine rubber." I tried harder.

"Ho Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho....."

Wow, his "Ha" has become a "HO." He is mad. What is wrong with him? I don't have a drum set but I have TWO pairs of drum sticks and a practice pad. Ok what.

"Ho ho ho...."

Ok. Santa Claus. You win. I don't play drums. I just own some lengthy sticks and a piece of fine rubber.

"Ho ho ho ho."

"Ok ok. I don't play drums." Aiyo, stop laughing lar.

"Ho ho ho."

Walau. You want to eat your lunch or not? Stop laughing.

I don't know what is worse - he thinks it is funny that I want him to be converted or I pretend to be someone who play drums.

"Errrr....I have to go. bye bye."

"Ok..hahhaha"

Aiyo. Stop laughing lah. Eat your lunch.

"I know you hate me." I said, trying to look as miserable as possible.

"No, on the contrary actually...hahahha."

Then stop laughing. You are so mean.

Wearing down his defenses

My bureau chief sent me an email and asked me to check on a deal that was completed and probably done out of Singapore.

So I called a source, someone I had not spoken to before.

"Oh, that deal. That was signed on August 4. Isn't it a bit late to cover the story?" he said.

"What? Signed on August 4? That was long while ago. Do you think I would look ridiculous writing a story on that deal now? What company is that?"

"A middle eastern company."

Phew! Middle east is not my beat. I have not been scooped!

"Is it done out of Singapore?"

"No. Hong Kong. We have sent a press release to you guys."

"Oh really. I have not received anything. Maybe my hong kong office has. I must be the most pathetic reporter that you have ever spoken to chasing a story that is a month's old."

He laughed. "Hahaha...no no...hahahha....you are not."

"Oh really? I am not scrapping the ground yet? Someone else is more tragic than I am?"

"hahahhaha....." He couldn't stop laughing.

"My self-esteem has reached the lowest point." I continued debasing myself strategically.

"hahahhhaha..." He really couldn't stop laughing.

"So are you working on other deals?"

"I can't tell you."

"Oh please. I have to write a pre-press release story to save my ass for missing this one. I am hoping you can help me." (Playing the sympathy card)

"Hahah....no. I can't."

Then I striked.

"XXXXXXXXXX" I asked a question, attempting to catch him unware.

"Hahha.....ya....I think.....hahha." And he gave it away nearly.

"So you are working on it?" I asked. I rubbed my hands in anticipation.

He stopped laughing.

"Oh, I can't tell you."

Damn!!! Missed. Nearly.