I got it

I took a cab home so that I can be at home by 7pm for a tele-interview. I was briefed a few times to call earlier because "the interviewer" hates people who are late.

I got home, changed into my track pants and my tanktop, find a nice spot on my bed and sat down. Then I dialed the number.

"Can you connect me to XXX?"

"Sorry what is his last name?"

"XXX" I said, wondering why she doesn't know the second-in-command.

"Oh, let me connect you."

"Ok, good morning."

"Why should we hire you?"

I bragged.

"Are there any reasons why you would hestitate to join XXX?"

"No hestitation."

"Are there any REASONS why you would hestitate to join XXX?"

"No reasons."

Yes, but I am starting to have one. This is all too strange for me.

"Do you want to join XXX?"

"Yes."

What's this?

"Ok, then you got it."

I am very confused now. Is this a job offer or what?

"Should I expect someone else to call me then?"

"Yes," he laughed.

Why is he laughing?

"Yes, you can expect a few to call you."

Click! He put down the phone.

I sat there on the nice spot on my bed, stunned. So I got the job.

What should I do now? Tell someone or what? Who is at home now? My dad.

My father was taking his shower. I stood there in his bedroom outside the bathroom, wondering whether I should shout?

So I shouted, "Papa!"

No answer.

I went back to my room. That was it? After nine months, one writing test and a series of interviews. I counted. There are eight interviews in total - three face to face ones, three telephone interviews, two video-interviews. I actually survived. Praise God!

I started to recall all the job interviews I had. My first job - I was hired on the spot after a short interview. My second job - three interviews over two weeks. My third job - I was hired in the evening after an interview in the morning, a writing test in the afternoon - all in a day.

This the longest, one that I prayed the most about.

The toughest interview was one where I had to do a presentation. I was grilled throughout that one hour of presentation. The funny thing was that the two interviewers were copying notes on my presentation. Then I went back and an email came in the afternoon on the day asking me to come in the next day for the third interview. That was fast. I made up excuses and went down a week later and told them during the interview that was not for me. The real reason: I hated the two interviewers, they were poorly dressed and had no interpersonal skills (they should listen to my presentation and not copy all the time...so rude...sigh...civil servants...sigh!)

As I lay on my bed recalling the interviews that I had in the past, I heard my dad walked by. I opened the door and called out to him.

"Papa....I got a new job."

"Hey, I asked. The computer you want is very expensive. Pentium 4 chip is already more than 300 dollars. So expensive."

"Papa. I got a new job."

"I show you. My friend listed for me the prices of all the parts. I also took some brochures from other shops for you to compare." He walked to the study and brought me some quotations.

"See. you see this one. cheapest 300 odd. This one is more than 500 just for the chip and motherboard."

"Ok. Papa."

"What?"

"I got a new job."

"Huh? You don't want your old job? What's wrong with your old job?"

"Nothing's wrong with my current one."

"Then? Is the new one better?"

"I don't know. I think so."

"Then ok lar, you think it is better, then it is ok. Do what?"

"Same thing. write rubbish."

"Which company?"

"XXX."

"ya ya. I heard you mention it before." Then he walked to the living room, sat down and switched on the TV. He wasn't excited at all.

Why? There's more money. I can give you more money. Maybe, we can all move out of this place and you don't have to walk up the stairs. This new job will have a compensation package that would not match my last job's before my career switch but would recover a big chunk of it. I can be prudent with my spending and save more, get us another apartment. You can't walk the stairs. Mom can't walk the stairs. I can get a car and I can bring you to anywhere you want. I can find out all the nice eateries in Singapore and bring you there. I can spend Sat afternoons with you drinking teh tariks at coffee shops which we couldn't go to because we don't have a car. Wait till I am done with LQ. Wait till I start at the new place. Wait till I buy a car. Wait till I pass the driving test. Wait till I reorganise my schedule. Wait till I am done with some of my current commitments. Wait. Just wait. Wait for me to do all these. My plans are working out. Please wait.

I followed him and stood there by the TV.

He was sitting on his favourite easy chair.

"Is it in Hong Kong?"

"No it is not."

"Ok, that is good. All your friends are here and your parents are old."

Yes. I know.

So that was on his mind when I told him about the offer. Then I told him that I wanted to buy him and my mom dinner. Then his face brightened.

"Ok" He said happily.

"What would you like to eat?"

"Ask mommy."

"But you can tell me. I will ask mom too. What would you like to eat?"

"Prawn fritters."

"Huh? can you choose something more expensivet?"

He didn't hear me. His hearing is getting worse. He can only catch half of what I say usually.

I looked at him and his thin frame. He didn't used to be that thin. Age had caught up with him. I wondered how many more years I still have with him. I wondered when the Lord is going to take away from me. And he better be saved by then. I also wondered what else I can do for him to make his life better in his last years. Oh yes, his salvation. What else?

So I said, "LC told me that you are still not willing to commit to the Lord, you only like the intellectual stimulation that the sermons and bible discussions are providing you."

Then my father started to expound the evolution theory, buddhism, and a host of other theories, all of which I don't understand and know very little about.

I listened intently. After 15 mins, I wasn't sure where he was going and I was going to be late. I had to leave the house. I apologised to him and promised to listen to him another time.

I rushed out and in the cab, I went through in my mind a conversation I had with LC.

"What is your father's background? I have never seen someone his age who likes intellectual discussion so much. Your father's a teacher?" LC asked.

"No, he is not."

"He just like to read a lot?"

"Yes, he loves reading. He is always reading something. He buys books very often. No, his job doesn't require him to read."

LC looked puzzled as if the link that he was holding in his hand slipped. He searched my face for the missing link.

I noticed but hestitated to tell him more about my dad.

When I was seven, I asked my father for his stories.

I recalled him saying, 'Wait until you are older then you would understand better. All these political complexities are not for you now."

"Don't want. Tell me now. Now!" I had said.

LC was still frowning away. I noticed.

I softened and offered him a glean.

"He was once a XXX, sort of. You can call him that."

I only offered bits of my father's stories, hoping that would suffice, hoping that those bits could help LC find a hook to help him share the gospel with my father.

I began to understand bits of my own life choices relating those bits of my father's stories to LC.

"XY (my chinese name), you have to do something for your society. Do not be inward looking. Do something that can make an impact, make a difference, make your life worthwhile. You only live once. At least leave a legacy." I was only less than 10 and I had heard him say that several times.

After I became 10, he stopped.

Maybe he knew that I was going to turn out to be someone mediocre, someone who could only love rock music because classical music was beyond her unsophiscated taste, someone who struggled to keep her head above waters most of the time through her student years, through her life because she had very few inner resources, someone whose series of boyfriends who were mediocre people leading mediocre lives who hardly fascinated him and he hardly spoke to them, someone who gets excited because she got a new job offer which is nothing really, nothing that can help her change the world or to make an impact, just another job which is bringing in food for the stomach and keeping her out of mischief.

He had never made me feel bad that I had turned out to be this mediocre or showed me that he's disappointed in me. In fact, I think he's not disappointed. He knows me and my limitations. He accepts.

"Is that all that you want?"

"Prawn fritters. I love prawn fritters."

Ok. You'll get prawn fritters.