In the world, out of the world

There are things to do. You do them and you can’t stop. One after another. You wonder why your body is aching, your eye bags are showing. You rather spend Sunday afternoon sleeping than to go out for an afternoon movie or sweating out at the court, like you used to. You let the world passes you by, forgetting your priorities, forgetting what you are here for.

Then one day, you stood by the lift. You noticed someone else waiting for the lift, standing beside you. You saw him and recognized his face. You vaguely remembered talking to him briefly, but you didn't know his name. The fact was you didn't bother to find out his name.

``D…what happened to your headset?’’

``I don’t know. People are complaining they can’t hear me. I don’t know why?’’

Minutes later, he returned with a new headset.

``Is that a new one? This is so nice. I like the cushioned earphones. Nice…’’

……

The guy with a familiar face stood by the lift beside you, unsure whether he should smile at you because you looked like you didn't recognise him.

Guilt-striken, you smiled brightly.

``You are B….’’ You said his name, reading a tag he still had around his neck. Yes, you changed my headset for me, I remember.

He looked at the laptop bag you were carrying. ``Is this your first conference?’’

I was stumped. How does he know I am covering a conference tomorrow? How does he even guess it is my first conference?
``err….yes, my first conference. But I am not the main reporter covering it.’’

``Oh. That would take pressure off you.’’

Stumped again. How observant? He spoke as if he lived in your world, that was small, damp, cramped with stuff and with very few people.

Of course, he knew I was a new hire, because his team had to prepare my terminal. Of course, he knew I was covering an event because his team prepared my traveler.

I stared at him and frowned a little.

Isn’t it my job to do this, to care about people, to always be ready with some comforting words, to be aware of the world around me, instead of letting it pass me by, instead of mopping at home because a story was spiked, instead of wanting to do nothing except to write another story, instead of letting everything else slip because you want to do the many things you want to do.

``Are you walking this way?’’

``huh?’’

``Why are you walking this way?’’

``huh?’’

``Oh you are driving.’’

``huh? oh.''

I frowned at his observation. I could be that way too if I care more. But I didn’t. The first thing I said to a colleague who stepped into the office yesterday, after he had flown all the way from London was: ``Hi, pleased to meet you. When should we discuss the coverage plan for the conference?’’

``Tommorrow?’’

``Ok. That’s cool.” I said and went back to my work.

Oh dear. That was pretty cold.

``Where do you live?’’ attempting at conversations instead of running off to do the many things I want to do.

``XXXX..’’

``Huh??’’ Don’t be stupid. Focus. Pay attention. ``Oh, there. How lucky. Near XXX. Good food.’’

``Yes, but I am not that near..I amm ssxxlkll fff and places like Holland Village.that ..ssddd ...nice.'...'' His voice was fading. I couldn't hear him. I couldn't see his face. Focus. Pay attention. You can't care if you don't pay attention.

``Oh. ya, but you dont' look fat. My friend stays there. He is not fat either.'' His face was blank. Why did I say that? Didn't pay attention. that's why. ``Oh, cos you live near a place with such good food. I would be eating a lot.'' A poor attempt to mask your insincerity.

Oh well, I will do better next time.