Closer

It was only in July last year that I was playing this song. I didn’t let the song breathe or let myself breathe. My Ipod was playing this song every free moment it got. It is not July yet but the song is back. Another low. I am maxing out on these troughs and crests. This time. And this time. This could be closer to a new low. At least, the water is a lot colder. How does one shore up for moments like this? What if it last? What if it claims its life-long existence here because something in you is feeding it, giving it its permanence and you are unaware, like you have not been living for a long while. Maybe I haven’t tried hard enough, but I am unmotivated. So it is. I am leaving it all behind. I will let it sink. It will reach the pit and it will be there, lifeless and no glory.