Ophelia
I stayed at home in front of my white laptop, (sorry!), my pearly white laptop. My vacation is going to be over soon. Next week I will be tied up with BB/GB camp. Then I will start on my new job. I don't know how it is going to be like.
But now, I am fearful, I won't have time to write and read the many books I want to read. So I refused to leave my pearly white laptop. I sat in front of the windows upright, sometimes looking the pong pong tree in front of me outside my window. That pong pong tree has become a flame tree in Ophelia's story.
I took out Ophelia's story again and read. At 10,000 words, it should be a finished story. But I added another character Neal. Now it looks like an unfinished story.
Gravity, in my opinion, is a better written story. But Ophelia is better liked, it seems. I read it again today. I realized why. It does have lovable characters. Elizabeth tried her hardest to be a good person but was put in very trying circumstances, Trent the dweeb with his super-hero character wanted to change the world by playing drums, Neal the cool dude who couldn't care enough about the world but had his eyes and mind on Elizabeth and Ophelia, the protagonist who got Trent wrapped around her thumb.
Elizabeth was of course, a lot like me when I was 17 - the way she talked. Now I still talk like her, but with much polished edges or so I hope.
This is, should I call it curse?, of writers who are just starting out. They tend to write about themselves. AS Byatt admitted Shadow of the Sun was her story and admitted that she feared at that time of writing that book that she was becoming one of those writers whose first novels were really about themselves.
No, Ophelia is not my story. But I know what Byatt said. You can't help but put bits of yourself into your first few stories. Your life provides materials, evokes emotions, you know it so well, you know it firsthand. Then you grow older and you become an astute observer of life. You write about others. You write stories from a lens about others.
For now, I am a baby. How many steps more? Like an impatient piano student who wants to play Moonlight Sonata in the first few lessons but has not developed trained fingers which could run across the keyboard with grace and could only "dings" and "tangs" a tune that is not quite complete.
Should I continue with the story? Add another 10,000 or 20,000 words to it? Yes, I think I should. Two weeks left. I should get a piece of blank paper and work out the plot structure, develop Neal into a fuller character.
Here's Neal and Elizabeth which I have added which made also Ophelia into an incomplete story because of the addition......
*********
Elizabeth passed by the basketball court near her place on her way home. She saw the tall guy from school playing basketball with a few guys. She saw him often here playing with his friends and sometimes alone. She noticed each time she passed by the court that the tall guy would steal glances at her, but only a few glances and then he usually continued to play his basketball game, only more ferociously than before. She also noticed that after that, he wonÂt look at her anymore, not even once.
Elizabeth watched him play while walking past the court. The tall guy stopped playing and ran towards her.
ÂHey you. You want a coke. Come in here. Let me buy you a coke.
"Huh? Coke?"
The tall guy tilted his head slightly and looked at her with a slight amusement, which caused a twinkle in his eyes.
"Yes, coke! It is really hot!"
"Oh. Ok. Coke is good."
Elizabeth walked through the gate and entered the basketball court.
"Ha! Here,"the tall guy said and passed her a paper cup of coke which he bought from a vending machine nearby.
She looked at the cup of coke and her thoughts drifted to the conversation she had with Trent in the band room just now. She had a lot on her mind lately.
"............It is Ophelia. She makes me want to do this. She makes me feel that I am living and breathing. She makes me want to create something spectacular so that people can unveil themselves and step out of their world because they know that we have something ....."
The tall guy laughed and broke her train of thoughts.
"Don't stand there looking like you just landed on Mars. This is a basketball court where people play basketball and sweat it out. You are not an alien and this is still earth." He said with amusement.
"I know ok. I am not an idiot," Elizabeth said, a little annoyed and her thoughts went back to what she left off.
"Hey you! Hello???!!!" The tall guy shouted, holding his right hand at the side of his mouth.
ÂWhat? Elizabeth was a little irritated that the tall guy had disrupted her thoughts.
"Stop standing there looking like an idiot."
"I am not looking like one."
"You do. Why donÂt you drink your coke and cool down a little, young lady."
"Hey, you! Did you invite me here so that you can talk to me in a condescending way? Is this your idea of a time off?" Elizabeth was fuming. She looked as if she was about to throw the coke she was holding in her hand at his face.
"No. I did not invite you here to talk to you in a condescending way. I invited you here to talk to you. I have been waiting to do that for ages. It just came out the wrong way and I am sorry."
"Oh." Elizabeth said and gulped down her coke very quickly.
"This coke is very sweet for a coke." Elizabeth blurted out and then realized she said something stupid.
(Yes, Elizabeth Einstein. Which coke is not sweet? Haven't the whole population of dietarians been telling you that a can of coke has more than 10 teaspoons of sugar? And you haven't got that in your brain? Of 'cos the coke is sweet. What are you thinking?)
Elizabeth thought to herself, a little annoyed with herself.
The tall guy burst out laughing.
"Glad to be of service. Come here tomorrow. I will buy you another coke."
Wow. Sometimes I do get away with stupidity. I still get free coke after saying something stupid.. Must be some kind of a cosmic sympathy. Well, I did go through a quite a hard time recently.
"Oh, thanks. You play basketball pretty well. I saw you play here a couple of times. You are way better than the guys in our basketball team. Why don't you play for the school?" Elizabeth asked.
"Play for the school? So that I can have the girls screaming for me on the sidelines? May be that is the way to fame. But I am not that into it." He said with a wink and started walking to his friends.
Elizabeth felt a little stupid asking him that question.
Ok. This is not my day. And what is with that wink? Gee.
He turned around and said while walking backwards, I am Neal and you are Elizabeth.
He stretched out his arm to point at Elizabeth, smiled and said, See you tomorrow.
Then, he turned and ran towards his friends and started playing basketball with them. He did not look at Elizabeth anymore after that.
Elizabeth waited for a while to see whether he would come back and talk to her. But he didn't.
Did he really ask me here to drink coke? So weird.
Elizabeth thought.
Elizabeth waited longer. He continued to play basketball in the same ferocious way that she had seen him play before. He didn't even look at her once.
(Ok. Now I am idiot. If you come back here and call me an idiot, what's your name, Neal, I won't argue with you because I am really an idiot. What did I just do? Come in here drink some coke and be ridiculed. How stupid can I get? Why are there so many weirdoes in my life lately - a sister who keeps a black cat and a mom who adopts a 17-year girl within minutes? Elizabeth, your life can't be more perfect.)
Elizabeth watched him shoot a three-pointer. The ball went through the hoop. His friends cheered.
(Ya right. Come here and drink coke again? My intelligence would be scrapping the ground if I am seen here again. Why can't people just give me a break?)
Elizabeth puffed her cheeks, rolled her eyes, picked up her bag and walked home.
But now, I am fearful, I won't have time to write and read the many books I want to read. So I refused to leave my pearly white laptop. I sat in front of the windows upright, sometimes looking the pong pong tree in front of me outside my window. That pong pong tree has become a flame tree in Ophelia's story.
I took out Ophelia's story again and read. At 10,000 words, it should be a finished story. But I added another character Neal. Now it looks like an unfinished story.
Gravity, in my opinion, is a better written story. But Ophelia is better liked, it seems. I read it again today. I realized why. It does have lovable characters. Elizabeth tried her hardest to be a good person but was put in very trying circumstances, Trent the dweeb with his super-hero character wanted to change the world by playing drums, Neal the cool dude who couldn't care enough about the world but had his eyes and mind on Elizabeth and Ophelia, the protagonist who got Trent wrapped around her thumb.
Elizabeth was of course, a lot like me when I was 17 - the way she talked. Now I still talk like her, but with much polished edges or so I hope.
This is, should I call it curse?, of writers who are just starting out. They tend to write about themselves. AS Byatt admitted Shadow of the Sun was her story and admitted that she feared at that time of writing that book that she was becoming one of those writers whose first novels were really about themselves.
No, Ophelia is not my story. But I know what Byatt said. You can't help but put bits of yourself into your first few stories. Your life provides materials, evokes emotions, you know it so well, you know it firsthand. Then you grow older and you become an astute observer of life. You write about others. You write stories from a lens about others.
For now, I am a baby. How many steps more? Like an impatient piano student who wants to play Moonlight Sonata in the first few lessons but has not developed trained fingers which could run across the keyboard with grace and could only "dings" and "tangs" a tune that is not quite complete.
Should I continue with the story? Add another 10,000 or 20,000 words to it? Yes, I think I should. Two weeks left. I should get a piece of blank paper and work out the plot structure, develop Neal into a fuller character.
Here's Neal and Elizabeth which I have added which made also Ophelia into an incomplete story because of the addition......
*********
Elizabeth passed by the basketball court near her place on her way home. She saw the tall guy from school playing basketball with a few guys. She saw him often here playing with his friends and sometimes alone. She noticed each time she passed by the court that the tall guy would steal glances at her, but only a few glances and then he usually continued to play his basketball game, only more ferociously than before. She also noticed that after that, he wonÂt look at her anymore, not even once.
Elizabeth watched him play while walking past the court. The tall guy stopped playing and ran towards her.
ÂHey you. You want a coke. Come in here. Let me buy you a coke.
"Huh? Coke?"
The tall guy tilted his head slightly and looked at her with a slight amusement, which caused a twinkle in his eyes.
"Yes, coke! It is really hot!"
"Oh. Ok. Coke is good."
Elizabeth walked through the gate and entered the basketball court.
"Ha! Here,"the tall guy said and passed her a paper cup of coke which he bought from a vending machine nearby.
She looked at the cup of coke and her thoughts drifted to the conversation she had with Trent in the band room just now. She had a lot on her mind lately.
"............It is Ophelia. She makes me want to do this. She makes me feel that I am living and breathing. She makes me want to create something spectacular so that people can unveil themselves and step out of their world because they know that we have something ....."
The tall guy laughed and broke her train of thoughts.
"Don't stand there looking like you just landed on Mars. This is a basketball court where people play basketball and sweat it out. You are not an alien and this is still earth." He said with amusement.
"I know ok. I am not an idiot," Elizabeth said, a little annoyed and her thoughts went back to what she left off.
"Hey you! Hello???!!!" The tall guy shouted, holding his right hand at the side of his mouth.
ÂWhat? Elizabeth was a little irritated that the tall guy had disrupted her thoughts.
"Stop standing there looking like an idiot."
"I am not looking like one."
"You do. Why donÂt you drink your coke and cool down a little, young lady."
"Hey, you! Did you invite me here so that you can talk to me in a condescending way? Is this your idea of a time off?" Elizabeth was fuming. She looked as if she was about to throw the coke she was holding in her hand at his face.
"No. I did not invite you here to talk to you in a condescending way. I invited you here to talk to you. I have been waiting to do that for ages. It just came out the wrong way and I am sorry."
"Oh." Elizabeth said and gulped down her coke very quickly.
"This coke is very sweet for a coke." Elizabeth blurted out and then realized she said something stupid.
(Yes, Elizabeth Einstein. Which coke is not sweet? Haven't the whole population of dietarians been telling you that a can of coke has more than 10 teaspoons of sugar? And you haven't got that in your brain? Of 'cos the coke is sweet. What are you thinking?)
Elizabeth thought to herself, a little annoyed with herself.
The tall guy burst out laughing.
"Glad to be of service. Come here tomorrow. I will buy you another coke."
Wow. Sometimes I do get away with stupidity. I still get free coke after saying something stupid.. Must be some kind of a cosmic sympathy. Well, I did go through a quite a hard time recently.
"Oh, thanks. You play basketball pretty well. I saw you play here a couple of times. You are way better than the guys in our basketball team. Why don't you play for the school?" Elizabeth asked.
"Play for the school? So that I can have the girls screaming for me on the sidelines? May be that is the way to fame. But I am not that into it." He said with a wink and started walking to his friends.
Elizabeth felt a little stupid asking him that question.
Ok. This is not my day. And what is with that wink? Gee.
He turned around and said while walking backwards, I am Neal and you are Elizabeth.
He stretched out his arm to point at Elizabeth, smiled and said, See you tomorrow.
Then, he turned and ran towards his friends and started playing basketball with them. He did not look at Elizabeth anymore after that.
Elizabeth waited for a while to see whether he would come back and talk to her. But he didn't.
Did he really ask me here to drink coke? So weird.
Elizabeth thought.
Elizabeth waited longer. He continued to play basketball in the same ferocious way that she had seen him play before. He didn't even look at her once.
(Ok. Now I am idiot. If you come back here and call me an idiot, what's your name, Neal, I won't argue with you because I am really an idiot. What did I just do? Come in here drink some coke and be ridiculed. How stupid can I get? Why are there so many weirdoes in my life lately - a sister who keeps a black cat and a mom who adopts a 17-year girl within minutes? Elizabeth, your life can't be more perfect.)
Elizabeth watched him shoot a three-pointer. The ball went through the hoop. His friends cheered.
(Ya right. Come here and drink coke again? My intelligence would be scrapping the ground if I am seen here again. Why can't people just give me a break?)
Elizabeth puffed her cheeks, rolled her eyes, picked up her bag and walked home.
posted by eternal bough at 5:14 PM
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