Lost in translation

UN ethusiatically said, tell me everything.

I was a little taken aback. She asked as if it was a good thing.

``I don't want to talk about it,'' I whined loudly. ``But let me tell you something funny.''

So I looked thoughtful for a while. Should I tell her my crush or should I tell her my lunch partner that day?

``I had a crush on my doctor.''

UN had a blank look. Ok, not funny, I guess.

``ok ok...let me tell you my lunch partner. I had a minor episode of lost in translation. My lunch partner is a promising young xxx. He would be an ideal lunch partner except that he has a super strong french accent....

We took a walk from his place to the restuarant where I planned to impress him with some neo-chinese food which I thought a french dude like him wouldn't have had it before.

``So you just came back from your vacation?'' I asked, trying to strike a conversation whom I intimidating with my questions the last time I interviewed him. I wanted to make atonement, hence this lunch.

``Yes, came back from south france., xxx, that is where my parents stay. you know where?''

I had no idea where he came back from. But I know where South France is. I have been there.

``Yayya. I have been to Marseille.''

''Oh really. Do you know that I stayed there for more than 10 years?''

He turned and looked at me. I caught his look and quickly shook my head sincerely, looking really disturbed that I actually didn't know that he stayed there for 10 years. How would I know? Some people have very high expectation of my psychic skills, which I have none.

``It is not a very sexual place.'' He said, looking down.

WHAT????? What did he just say? I was frightened. What did I just do? Invited him for lunch?

``Err....what do you mean by sexual?'' I asked, shaking with fear. What kind of a person would explain about a place being not sexual enough. Maybe he should go stay in Sodom.

``It is not a very safe place like Singapore. Here is safe.''

I burst out laughing. ``Oh, secured. I heard something else.''

''What did you hear?'' He bent down and blocked me with half his body, putting his face in front of me.

``I heard err....I heard.....errr...I dont' think I want to repeat that.''

Finally, we were at the table. We ordered. Ok, ok, ok, it is a full episode of Lost in Translation. Stop complaining. let me finish.

"I am also a christian.'' He said after finding out that I am.

I looked up puzzled. How could I miss that?

``Catholic.'' I stopped frowning. That explains. ``But I don't go to church. I am a very good catholic.'' He looked a little smug when he said that. I frowned.

``How does one learn the ways of a good christian if he does not go to church or read the bible. You mean he can dream it up in his head?'' I asked.

``You don't believe I am a good catholic? I know I am. I have integrity...." He explained.

''I believe,'' cutting him short. ``How did you become a catholic?''

``My family is catholic. My grandma. she goes to church everyday. But I don't think she is a good catholic.''

``Well, you know, all of us are given different resources in life. Maybe your grandma was given a broken car and she can't help but have a bumpy ride most of the time. If you put in trying situations all the time, it would be difficult for you to be nice all the time. Maybe your grandma has a difficult grandson to deal with.'' I bit my tongue.

``You mean I am difficult?'' He said in his strongest french accent and I understood perfectly for some strange reason.

``Errrr.....I mean....no...you are not.''

.............

UN laughed. "that is so funny. You should write all these down and turn it to a book or something.''

No way. I write these sort of things on my blog. Either these or some depressing stuff. But never something that reflects my intelligent mind,maybe I have none, that's why?''

''UN, stopped laughing. let me finish. that is still the last part to this lost in translation episode.''

UN rolled her eyes and said. '' Ok.''

So on the way back, he asked me whether I knew a columnist who writes about aviation.

''He seems to be an expert in that field.'' he said.

``How does he know all that he know then?''

``because he is a jerk?''

``What? He is a jerk?'' I couldn't believe what I heard.

``No. I said it is his job.''

I laughed and shook my head.

``My english is so good that you don't understand it. And you never fail to let me know that.'' I understood that perfectly. strange, whenever it is a sarcasm, I would catch it.